Jobs I will not be pursuing....

Sometimes I browse through Craig's List and check out the ads for ghostwriters. Craig's List is generally a lousy place to look for ghostwriting gigs. It's full of people who want tons of work for peanuts, or worse, "half the royalties!" (Thanks for nothing. Literally.)

But every once in a while, I come across one that just makes me laugh.

My personal observations are in italics.

Ghostwriter/editor needed for Sci-fi Novel (Already a problem that she doesn't know which service she wants)

I need someone to rewrite my 92,000 word post-apocalyptic space opera vampire fiction (genre traffic jam alert!) to make it ready for publication in the late fall. (this fall????)

Compensation: $500 (cue laugh track.)

Profile of the Ghostwriter @Work

What I like best about this profile is the discussion of how much non-writing work a ghostwriter really does. This paints a very accurate picture of what the profession is like. Ghostwriters write, for sure, but we also act as sherpa to those who are wandering into the book world for the first time.

Next, we need jackets!

The latest great idea in ghostwriting:

Association of Ghostwriters

Founder Marcia Layton Turner says:

"Publishing experts estimate that as many as 50 percent of all New York Times bestsellers are ghostwritten today, but there’s also great demand for ghostwriters for other types of books and in businesses of all sizes."

Only 50 percent? ;)

Ghosts unite!

Long Live Nancy Drew

One of the great ghost gigs of all time.

Malcolm and Me

I have an old jingle stuck in my head. Back in the 80s, Gatorade snagged
basketball great Michael Jordan for a television ad and the song that went
along with it was catchy: Like Mike. If I could be like Mike.

I have it in my head, with a slightly different spin. This week, it seems
all my client want to Be Like Malc. That’s Malcolm Gladwell. In the past ten
days, I have fielded nothing but pleas to make my clients’ books read like
Malc.

That’d be fine with me, if my clients really did want a book like Malcolm’s.
I can ape a style like any good ghostwriter. The problem is that what my
clients REALLY want is all across the board.

“I want the prose to be deep and intense. Like Malcolm Gladwell.”

“I’m looking for a strong conversational tone. Like Malcolm Gladwell meets
Thomas Friedman.” (Ellen’s note: Now that’s a mash up!)

“Can you make it timeless? Like Malcolm Gladwell?”

I can do any and all of those things for my clients. I will make one
client’s book read with depth and intensity, another’s show a strong
conversational tone and the third, a lack of anchor in any one era. None of
them will actually read like a Gladwell text, because those really aren’t
the attributes of Gladwell’s work. Gladwell is very timely. Other than
best-seller status, I’m not sure he shares much in common with Friedman. And intense? Actually, Gladwell’s critics call him glib. But that’s okay. What my clients really want is not to READ like Gladwell, but BE like Gladwell – that is, the author of a respected best-seller.

So I take in the marching orders and go back to work on all these projects. I understand, I tell my clients. I want to be like Malcolm, too.

Smart Ghostwriter @Work

Ghostwriter Mahesh Grossman does all of us in the ghost biz a service with his book "Write a Book Without Lifting a Finger: How to Hire a Ghostwriter Even if You are on a Shoestring Budget" (10 Finger Press, 2nd Edition updated and revised for 2010, ISBN: 978-1-933174-98-3, Price: $17.95).

Can’t say I love the title. Those “I don’t want to lift a finger” clients are a nightmare! But, hey, titles sell books and when it comes to content, it appears to me that Mahesh is spot on. His tips:

"If you're writing a book to establish yourself as a thought leader in your field and to land new clients or customers, your best bet is to find someone who has written books published by major publishers in your topic area, if you can afford it (costs can be $25,000-$45,000).
For more affordable ghostwriters, visit www.writersmarket.com to find editors who write about your topic for magazines to see if they might be interested in working on your book. Or ask for referrals to freelance writers they have worked with. You can hire someone to write a book proposal to help you get a publishing deal for as little as $500.
Make sure there's chemistry between you and the writer; they have to understand you and your area of expertise.
Always check their references. Make sure they turn in polished work and meet deadlines. Having a test phase is mandatory: hire your ghostwriter to write one chapter before proceeding.
Avoid hiring a professor or English teacher or someone who's never been published. Their writing often winds up sounding like a term paper instead of a book.
Be sure to make yourself available enough for the ghostwriter to get the information they need."

Interesting stuff. More info is here.

Ghost Citing

Greetings Ghosts,
Another article all about the life of the ghostwriter. Nice stuff, especially the Hall of Ghostwriter Fame at the end.
Enjoy these while you can. As soon as Roman Polanski's movie fades into memory, we all go back into the background!